When The Kids Leave Home For College

When The Kids Leave Home For College, by Becky Hopkins

Some parents mourn while others begin to enjoy the new college experiences of their teenagers. For those parents who have wanted to be a “pal” to their little people there may be some brief angst; but when the kids leave home for college, the job of parenting isn’t finished. Parenting doesn’t end at 18 – in fact, it doesn’t end. It changes and it will continue to change.

Some parents lose sight of the obvious: diapering and cleaning up milk spit are not designed for any normal person’s pleasure — the diapers and spit simply go with babies and toddlers.

During puberty and the teen years, parents must be survivors to get past the hormonal hi’s and lo’s, the terror of having a young driver in your new or just-paid-for auto, and the continued lack of sleep because of the kids’ missed curfews. However, those times that try parents’ patience and stamina are temporarily forgotten as you watch your students excitedly packing for college.

Around late September or early October, your recent high school graduate, now a college freshman, will say how much [s]he misses you and can’t wait to see you – words that cause a parent’s heart to swell with pride and emotion. With excitement and a car filled with enough food for a small town, you make the 5-hour (one way) drive to visit your student on campus. Shortly after the initial hugs and “how are you’s”, the weekend agenda will begin to emerge and often it is different than what the parents planned. Sure, your student truly missed you and is excited about seeing you, but — turns out that your child also has made plans with friends that evening. “Not to worry,” and “I’m really sorry”, you are told — there is plenty of time for you to be together – tomorrow.

You, liberated parent, learn once more that you and your children are still on different channels. This will change at a future time, but not yet.

Did you know that adolescence continues into our late 20’s? I once read age 27 was the time adolescence ended, but I’m certain adolescence can last much longer because I have met them — people halfway through a normal lifetime who seem to be stuck at age 18 or younger.

As your children continue to mature, your value to them will increase and you will probably become closer – almost like “pals” — but for now – get a life of your own. The darlings will catch up with you a little farther down the road.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

www.50andholding.info

How Do We Know When Its Time To Ask For Help? Part 2

How Do We Know When Its Time To Ask For Help? Part 2, By Becky Hopkins

With one or more health problems and limited cash, a senior’s options often disappear. If a person is still in home ownership, the property’s value may offer a partial solution, depending upon the person’s age, the type of health issues, and the type of assistance needed. As a starting place, often it is a good idea to explore the options provided by one’s home.

1st Option: Selling the property is the obvious choice, but not always the best, especially if the property is in a good location and has been well maintained. In such a case, selling the property causes the owner to dispose of an appreciable asset.

2nd Option: Another option is property management where the property is used as a rental to produce monthly income. In this scenario and for a reasonable fee, a good property management company will “manage” various aspects of leasing the property
on behalf of the owner.

3rd Option: If the owner is late 70’s or older* and appears to be able to remain at home for at least a few more years, a reverse mortgage can supply money (non- taxable income) for in-home assistance until a later time when the owner might need to sell the property and move to a senior community. * – Homeowners are eligible for a reverse mortgage at age 62, but about 8-10 years later will produce a larger amount from the mortgage.

A geriatric care manager (aka eldercare manager) can work with a family to determine the best care plan for an individual. This person is generally, but not always, a licensed social worker. A care manager will look at an individual’s financial condition, medical issues, and help the family gather information for making a decision that is in the best interests of an individual.

Most people want to remain in their homes, but for many people this requires advance planning. A homeowner’s refusal to ask for help to plan ahead actually can prevent them from doing what they want to do – remain in their home.

There are times that a refusal to ask for help is an indicator of memory problems or dementia. At such a time, an attorney may be needed to set up a guardianship in order to complete a plan of action and move forward for the individual’s best
interests.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

www.50andholding.info

How Do We As Seniors, Know When It Is Time To Ask For Help – Part 1

How Do We As Seniors, Know When It Is Time To Ask For Help – Part 1, By Becky Hopkins

Asking for help is not fun, and at those times of resisting help, otherwise smart people can and do put themselves at risk.

“Risk” can mean unwise spending habits. After all, who wants to outlive what our finances can support? If our decisions concerning money cause us to spend down too fast, we may find ourselves without financial options which is not a good place to be.

“Risk” can mean unsafe habits such as driving — you know, that time when everyone runs for cover as you pick up the car keys.

Turning in the car keys is a huge — often embarrassing — decision. Our self talk says, “there goes my independence and the control over my lifestyle” and “what will my friends think?”, forgetting that most of our friends are having the same decision issues. However, with some smart planning many of us can continue the lifestyle we enjoy and at the same cost — or less.

When driving becomes unsafe (and deep down, most of us also know that time when it happens), be smart! Sell that gas guzzler (or even newer hybrid) and approach this as a business decision. Set up a little bank account with your money from the
car sale. Then begin putting the money you have spent on gas, insurance and car maintenance and you won’t believe how it grows. Then – begin exploring your transportation options.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

www.50andholding.info

Its A Matter Of Our Health, Staying In Touch With Friends

Its A Matter Of Our Health, Staying In Touch With Friends, By Becky Hopkins

Staying active is important, and managing daily activities to leave room for rest and relationships is smart. Relationships require time and effort so I will work smarter in managing my time. With better time management I will be free to communicate more often with friends and family via e-mails, calls – also, letters which some of us still remember writing and receiving.

While few of us still write letters, I’m guessing most of us still appreciate receiving letters. E-mail doesn’t count because this is about a handwritten letter, an envelope and a stamp. A computer generated letter using the cursive isn’t the same.

It is unrealistic to say I will go back in time and resume the practice of sending handwritten letters; however, I can write more notes. This probably works better anyway. With technology ruling our lives, our national attention span seems shorter and everyone else is dealing with their own busy-ness in the time created by technology to do more. A long letter probably would be left, half-read, on Mary or John’s table or counter with the rest of a day’s mail before ending up in the trash can.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

Serving the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex

www.50andholding.info

Planning Ahead, A Gift To Pass Along To Your Younger Generations

Planning Ahead, A Gift To Pass Along To Your Younger Generations, By Becky Hopkins

Some of my best ideas have come a few minutes before bedtime, or at midnight prior to a morning event on the following day—too late, in most cases, to do anything about the idea. The same with intentions about all of the things I will do tomorrow, next month, next year. If carried out, some of these ideas would produce unique and appreciated gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, baby showers, etc.

One of my unfulfilled ideas has been a collection of family recipes—not original and others have most likely done this, but unique to me and my family because of the people involved. These days you can find almost anything on the internet, but it isn’t as likely to have an attached personal story, and the story is as important (or more important) as the actual recipe. With today’s computer technology, preparation isn’t as daunting a task as a few years ago, and some family recipe collections may carry a history of the family that present generations might not otherwise know—traditions, memories, stories that can be included for special interest about recipes and definitely are worthy of being preserved.

One of our favorite things to do – re-living family stories when we are spending time with younger family members. For centuries, families had oral histories about their kin and hopefully, technology won’t erase this form of preserving traditions. Our young people always laugh, even when they remember hearing stories from pass visits. We hope the repetition helps to imbed the stories in their memories.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

Serving the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex

www.50andholdling.info

Holidays Are Reminders of Memories Made in the Kitchen.

Holidays are reminders of memories made in the kitchen. By Becky Hopkins

Making Memories & Remembering Them …

Holidays, memories and food are almost inseparable. For both rich and poor, holidays will often include good food and what happened around its preparation, the dinner hour, and even post-meal work in the kitchen. The jokes and stories told as everyone
worked in the kitchen. Stories told around the dinner table. Laughter over dessert and coffee and continuing relaxed conversation and games afterwards. Relationships and friendships are built around shared meals – whether simple or gourmet. In the
memory department, food is a facilitator!

Food is also a great connector to the past – to favorite cooks and the memories that go with them. What about family main course and dessert recipes that are timeless? Trendy vegetable and salad creations? In some families, stories are told thru recipe
collections. A veritable culinary family tree may even be found.

Of course, aside from eating and enjoying a great meal, dish, or dessert, the next best thing about food is sharing it with others.

Becky Hopkins

www.50andholding.info

Its A Matter Of Our Health, Staying Socially Active

It’s a matter of our health … staying socially active in Dallas, Texas by Becky Hopkins

The experts and surveys have all sorts of data to prove what we already know: We just feel better when we maintain a healthy social life. A down side to aging can be lower stamina, so adequate rest, sensible diet and just walking regularly may help.

If you enjoy hosting home events but are feeling the pinch of limited income or added unexpected expenses, don’t be discouraged. Home entertaining still is less expensive, so to continue with hosting at home, be sure to check vanity and an
unrealistic sense of pride at the door — those self-imposed “standards” about the home’s location, condition, size and décor. Keep perspective in place.

Home entertaining can allow variety, but as a stress reliever, do things that you enjoy and are your strong suit. If a hostess isn’t at her best in the kitchen, there are many ways to improvise, since a home event isn’t exactly a state dinner.

Dessert and Coffee (If this is your niche, make your special dessert and provide the recipe on an attractive recipe card for guests who are interested). Sharing recipes starts conversations and is a good ice breaker for people just meeting each other. If your attempts in the kitchen are unpredictable, order something from one of the many good bakeries and specialty stores. Your guests will think no less of you for not baking your own. Serve dessert wine or coffee as a change from regular coffee – more to talk about.

Wine and Cheese (serve both white and red wines; some people are allergic to red wine and others have definite preferences between the two). You might have 1 or 2 cheeses (a nice Havarti, a creamy Swiss, Gouda, or other specialty cheese), a couple of types of plain crackers, and in-season fruit. A nice cake may be served as dessert but is optional. The wine stemware (matched is nice, but need not be expensive), napkins and cheeses are simple but can be an attractive arrangement on a table or serving counter. Done at home, this is a nice mid-week break that requires little preparation and a chance to relax from week’s work schedule.

Appetizers and Wine or Non-Alcoholic Beverage (for a small group, followed by main course at a restaurant, Dutch treat). This works better for a smaller group where guests know each other.

Sports Event Party (Queso, chips, salsa, bar-b-que, and Margaritas, beer and non-alcoholic beverages). The menu can easily expand if guests like to cook and everyone is contributing to the festivities.

Saturday or Sunday Brunch (one of our favorites) Have freshly baked bread(s), breakfast souffle or casserole, fruit, juice, coffee and tea. This is a great, relaxed way to visit.

Friday Night Buffets (patterned after old style potluck dinners, but serving appetizers, finger food and desserts instead of entrees). This is a favorite route for some dear neighbor friends.

Potluck For an informal early supper, find a recipe and have each guest bring an ingredient (works great with taco salads) so that guests are involved in meal preparation. This is a great icebreaker for an informal gathering where all guests
don’t know each other.

Far more important than home décor and type of food is hospitality. Make your guests feel appreciated and included in whatever type gathering you are having. You will have a successful home event and be considered a good hostess.

The bonus? The afterglow: fresh social memories of times with friends is positively energizing.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

Serving the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex

www.50andholding.info