When The Kids Leave Home For College

When The Kids Leave Home For College, by Becky Hopkins

Some parents mourn while others begin to enjoy the new college experiences of their teenagers. For those parents who have wanted to be a “pal” to their little people there may be some brief angst; but when the kids leave home for college, the job of parenting isn’t finished. Parenting doesn’t end at 18 – in fact, it doesn’t end. It changes and it will continue to change.

Some parents lose sight of the obvious: diapering and cleaning up milk spit are not designed for any normal person’s pleasure — the diapers and spit simply go with babies and toddlers.

During puberty and the teen years, parents must be survivors to get past the hormonal hi’s and lo’s, the terror of having a young driver in your new or just-paid-for auto, and the continued lack of sleep because of the kids’ missed curfews. However, those times that try parents’ patience and stamina are temporarily forgotten as you watch your students excitedly packing for college.

Around late September or early October, your recent high school graduate, now a college freshman, will say how much [s]he misses you and can’t wait to see you – words that cause a parent’s heart to swell with pride and emotion. With excitement and a car filled with enough food for a small town, you make the 5-hour (one way) drive to visit your student on campus. Shortly after the initial hugs and “how are you’s”, the weekend agenda will begin to emerge and often it is different than what the parents planned. Sure, your student truly missed you and is excited about seeing you, but — turns out that your child also has made plans with friends that evening. “Not to worry,” and “I’m really sorry”, you are told — there is plenty of time for you to be together – tomorrow.

You, liberated parent, learn once more that you and your children are still on different channels. This will change at a future time, but not yet.

Did you know that adolescence continues into our late 20’s? I once read age 27 was the time adolescence ended, but I’m certain adolescence can last much longer because I have met them — people halfway through a normal lifetime who seem to be stuck at age 18 or younger.

As your children continue to mature, your value to them will increase and you will probably become closer – almost like “pals” — but for now – get a life of your own. The darlings will catch up with you a little farther down the road.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

http://www.50andholding.info

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Its A Matter Of Our Health, Staying In Touch With Friends

Its A Matter Of Our Health, Staying In Touch With Friends, By Becky Hopkins

Staying active is important, and managing daily activities to leave room for rest and relationships is smart. Relationships require time and effort so I will work smarter in managing my time. With better time management I will be free to communicate more often with friends and family via e-mails, calls – also, letters which some of us still remember writing and receiving.

While few of us still write letters, I’m guessing most of us still appreciate receiving letters. E-mail doesn’t count because this is about a handwritten letter, an envelope and a stamp. A computer generated letter using the cursive isn’t the same.

It is unrealistic to say I will go back in time and resume the practice of sending handwritten letters; however, I can write more notes. This probably works better anyway. With technology ruling our lives, our national attention span seems shorter and everyone else is dealing with their own busy-ness in the time created by technology to do more. A long letter probably would be left, half-read, on Mary or John’s table or counter with the rest of a day’s mail before ending up in the trash can.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

Serving the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex

http://www.50andholding.info

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Planning Ahead, A Gift To Pass Along To Your Younger Generations

Planning Ahead, A Gift To Pass Along To Your Younger Generations, By Becky Hopkins

Some of my best ideas have come a few minutes before bedtime, or at midnight prior to a morning event on the following day—too late, in most cases, to do anything about the idea. The same with intentions about all of the things I will do tomorrow, next month, next year. If carried out, some of these ideas would produce unique and appreciated gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, baby showers, etc.

One of my unfulfilled ideas has been a collection of family recipes—not original and others have most likely done this, but unique to me and my family because of the people involved. These days you can find almost anything on the internet, but it isn’t as likely to have an attached personal story, and the story is as important (or more important) as the actual recipe. With today’s computer technology, preparation isn’t as daunting a task as a few years ago, and some family recipe collections may carry a history of the family that present generations might not otherwise know—traditions, memories, stories that can be included for special interest about recipes and definitely are worthy of being preserved.

One of our favorite things to do – re-living family stories when we are spending time with younger family members. For centuries, families had oral histories about their kin and hopefully, technology won’t erase this form of preserving traditions. Our young people always laugh, even when they remember hearing stories from pass visits. We hope the repetition helps to imbed the stories in their memories.

Becky Hopkins, SRES, GRI
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Company

Serving the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex

http://www.50andholdling.info

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Holidays Are Reminders of Memories Made in the Kitchen.

Holidays are reminders of memories made in the kitchen. By Becky Hopkins

Making Memories & Remembering Them …

Holidays, memories and food are almost inseparable. For both rich and poor, holidays will often include good food and what happened around its preparation, the dinner hour, and even post-meal work in the kitchen. The jokes and stories told as everyone
worked in the kitchen. Stories told around the dinner table. Laughter over dessert and coffee and continuing relaxed conversation and games afterwards. Relationships and friendships are built around shared meals – whether simple or gourmet. In the
memory department, food is a facilitator!

Food is also a great connector to the past – to favorite cooks and the memories that go with them. What about family main course and dessert recipes that are timeless? Trendy vegetable and salad creations? In some families, stories are told thru recipe
collections. A veritable culinary family tree may even be found.

Of course, aside from eating and enjoying a great meal, dish, or dessert, the next best thing about food is sharing it with others.

Becky Hopkins

http://www.50andholding.info

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It’s A Matter Of Our Health

Thanksgiving Day was fun – good food, great guests. In fact, no surprise, the people made the day a great one and once more I was reminded of the importance of spending time with family and friends and building new friendships.

The experts and surveys have all sorts of data, but is that really necessary to confirm what our mind, heart, even our body tells us after an enjoyable time interacting with others? We just feel better after social times.

For those of us over age 50 who enjoy hosting, to continue hosting opportunities in our home we may need to check our vanity and sense of pride at the door. That’s right. I’m talking about our self-imposed “standards” of hosting that may not match our changing levels of energy and physical stamina. There was a time when I would spend most of the week preparing for a few friends or family we had invited for dinner, and the big day was a marathon, followed by 1-2 days of sheer exhaustion.　

Never being a fast learner, this pattern continued until just a few years ago when I had my “aha” moment.　 What badge of honor did I receive for being the perfect hostess (assuming I succeeded)? Who really cared but me?　 　　

While clean houses are important and enjoyable, I doubt anyone is going to going to give the tops of my door jams the dust test. Most of us enjoy good food but these are not state dinners we are talking about, and I have learned that some of us feel more included when we have participated in the preparations. So now guests are often involved in meal preparation. That may not be the style for your friends, but ours feel included and appreciated, and I actually get to enjoy the group without needing to be resuscitated the next day.

How hard was that?  Now on to Christmas Day!

Becky Hopkins is a Realtor® with
CENTURY 21 Judge Fite Co. in the
Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex

www.50andholding.com

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